Want to write programs for a cluster? Here is your chance. MPI implementer and cluster workhorse Jeff Squyres guides you through the nuances of writing MPI programs with a set of outstanding tutorials. Unlike other MPI tutorials, Jeff addresses cluster issues and optimizations. Just dive in, you don't even need a cluster to get started.

Asynchronous Joy

Did you ever notice that Fred Flintstone was the only one who powered his car? You could see his feet running below the car, pushing it along, but no one else ever helped. This is clearly a single inertia, multiple dependents (SIMD) situation - it's almost like Fred was providing a taxi service for all the other freeloaders. Indeed, getting some of the others to help push would have resulted in greater efficiency - a multiple inertia, multiple dependents (MIMD) scenario. I call this the Flint's Taxi Economy principle.

(say it out loud)

In Parallel, Everyone Hears You Scream (part deux)

A guy walks into a breakfast joint with 16 penguins. They sit down at the biggest table in the place. The guy orders coffee for himself and a bowl of cereal for each of the penguins. He then breaks out a newspaper and casually starts reading. Meanwhile, the penguins' breakfasts arrive and the first penguin starts eating while all the others look at him. After he finishes, all the penguins look at the second penguin while he eats. When the last penguin finishes his cereal, he emits a loud "gwank!" and all the penguins get up and file out of the restaurant.

The guy looks up, folds up his newspaper, and gets up to pay the bill. One of the other patrons had been watching the spectacle said, "Excuse me sir, I have to ask. What was that all about? Why did you just sit there while your penguins ate their breakfast?"

"Yeah, it always takes this long," he said. "It's cerealized."

In case you did not get enough the last time

When this column was originally written, Jeff was taking a break, supposedly writing his dissertation. Personally, I think he was procrastinating - doing "research" in Disneyland, hiking the Himalayas, working on MPI-3 or some other academic endeavor. In the meantime, Hello, I'm Brian - I'll be your host this month. We have lots of flavors on tap here at the House of MPI, including the new, Atkins-friendly, low-carb MPI_TYPE_CREATE_RESIZED.

Do, or do not. There is no try -- Yoda

A novice asked the master: "I have a program that sometimes runs and sometimes aborts. I have followed the rules of programming, yet I am totally baffled. What is the reason for this?"

The master replied: "You are confused because you do not understand MPI. The rules of programming are transitory; only MPI is eternal. Therefore you must contemplate MPI before you receive enlightenment."

"But how will I know when I have received enlightenment?" asked the novice.

"Your program will then run correctly," replied the master.

Everything You Wanted to Know About Groups and Communicators, But Were Afraid to Ask

Actual e-mail spams seen recently:

  • Banned MPI CD! The government doesn't want you to see this!
  • Our licensed MPI programmers will prescribe parallel applications for free.
  • Enlarge your parallel application performance by 5x with MPIagra!
  • Nigerian bank director needs MPI developers to receive US$25M in offshore funding.

Am I the only one that gets these?


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