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In the Great Gift Card Revolution of 2012, angry survey-takers unionized against Intersect360 Research to demand greater benefits for visiting Survey Monkey four times per year. The resulting HPC500 organization recognizes leaders from across the HPC industry for providing their insights on technology and spending trends, in return for which they get all the white papers they can read and a free LinkedIn group, along with a warm, fuzzy sense of global camaraderie.

HPC500 is a diverse group by design. Its members come from all outlying areas in the galaxy and represent HPC installations ranging from a modest riverside system designed to draw rocks from a bag to a future supercomputer, code-named “Big Data,” that will spend 20 years calculating the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. The HPC500 spans commerce, government, academia, and an advanced race that appears only as a hyperintelligent shade of blue.

Unfortunately one recent message from an HPC500 member was misinterpreted by Intersect360 Research as details of a planned heterogeneous accelerated HPC cloud infrastructure, where in the respondent’s local language the intended message was simply, “So long, and thanks for all the e-books.”

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